Friday the 13th part 16 Jason's big birthday blowout
by weaboo stalin
Summary: The lesser known 1986 prequel to the 1988 cult classic Friday the 13th part 17 Hitler vs Jason . It's not as good as it's successor but it's still a cult classic in it's own right .
1. Chapter 1

This is the first of two parts to the lesser known 1986 prequel to the Friday the 13th part 17 Hitler vs Jason

2 mouths after part 6 Jason Voorhees got out of bed put and on his usual boiler suit and hockey mask ready for his usual routine when saw the calendar .Like Oh my gawd it's like totally my birthday I have like to totally plan a party Jason said as he now ran towards his closet desperately scrambling for his best boiler suit and hockey mask .Oh my gawd this looks totally bitching he said looking at himself in the mirror with his new outfit .But than he remembered that no preparations had been made for the party happening later that day . Luckily he remembered that that his boyfriend Matyas Rakozi (or as Jason liked to call him Matty) was home and agreed to help him set up .Jason darted to the phone on the wall punching in Matyas Rakozi's number at nearly supersonic speed .Rakozi answered Hey babe what is it? Matty my birthday is today and i have got like to set up the party and i'm like totally worried Jason chimed back .Relax babe ill be right over in a few Rakozi replied back before hanging up the phone.

After waiting and worrying for about 10 minutes Rakozi arrived in his dented 1960s Pontiac Arcadian .I'm here babe Rakozi said entering Jason's house .Ok good Jason replied looking at the list of all the the things they had to do .The first thing Jason had to was call all of his friends while Rakozi setup the the streamers and balloons .First jason called his pals Velociraptor ,Chad,Keemstar and Michael Myers. Than Jason called Nicolae Ceausescu , Chris Chan,And that one mcdonalds employee who screws up your order every time(I said hold the cheese not add extra dumb ass) . Next up was the refreshments but before he could do that he had to help Rakozi with the decorations .Rakozi blew up more balloons while Jason placed additional streamers around the house .After about a half hour they had finally finished decorating the whole house from top to that out of the way they headed to Rakozi's car to go the store to get some refreshments .

To be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

After driving for about a mile Jason and Rakosi had finally reached their local Circle k." I will pay for everything babe since it's your special day" Rakosi said to Jason sweetly "Thanks Matty" Jason replied kissing Rakosi on the cheek and both of them waltzed into the Circle k. Because this was new jersey no one seemed to care that there was a machete wielding zombie or a dead mass murdering dictator walking around the store .After picking up Pepsi ,Ruffles,Doritos ,cookies ,Jolt cola ,Slice and a few other articles of junk food the duo walked across the street to the liquor store . After walking in and picking up a couple cases of Sapporo they came to the first major dilemma of the night Jason wanted to buy wine coolers. "Come on babe it's a waste of money you know that only you and velociraptor like those " Rakosi exclaimed trying to reason with Jason .But Jason wouldn't have it and whined "Nooooooo thats sooooo unfair this is like my party and you promised that you would like payyyyy " .Rakosi finally gave in "ugh fine ill buy you a small pack of wine coolers" With that Jason perked right up and hugged Rakosi and after paying for the beer and wine coolers they loaded the grocery's into Rakosi's car and drove off .

After arriving at the house Jason set up the refreshments table and Rakosi set up the happy birthday banner .After finishing the last of the party preparations Jason and Rakosi sat down and watched Night Court while waiting for the guests to arrive .But after 3 hours the guests still hadn't arrived and Jason was getting worried and began to whine "Where is everyone this is like my party and no one is like coming " and at that very moment Chad's Hyundai Pony and Velociraptor's Ford tempo pulled up ."Sorry we're late we forgot they changed the name to Camp Forest Green" Chad said walking in followed by everyone else who put there gifts on the table except for Keemstar who brought a huge box of burgers and steaks because his dad was a HUGE meat packer . Jason than played Human touch by Rick Springfield on his new stereo and handed everyone a party hat ,finally the party was ready to start. " Hey Jason your party looks totally radical" Velociraptor said to Jason while running up to hug him ."Thanks Velociraptor"Jason said hugging Velociraptor ."Now everyone like make your selves at home and like chill until The Breakfast Club comes on in like an hour." Jason was very happy as everything seemed to be going as planned . Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves . Rakosi ,Keemstar ,Chris Chan,And Ceausescu watched an episode of Star trek, Velociraptor ,Jason and Michael Myers talked about how David got Clare pregnant and That one Mcdonalds employee who screws up your order every time listened to her Walkman.

About an hour had passed and it was time for the movie to start and so far the party was going really well but that was all about to change .Jason turned the TV dial to channel 5 and everyone gathered around the tv but as soon as the opening to the breakfast club started a bolt of lightning struck the aerial so now the only channels the TV could receive where the Home bible network and the Animal planet which was airing a 2 day finding Bigfoot marathon and to make matters worse Jason's VCR had a jazzercise tape stuck in it so watching tv was out of the question .Jason began to cry so Rakosi in order to cheer Jason up said "Calm down Jason we sill have plenty of radical stuff to do at this party babe starting with making the burgers and steaks ill go make them now with the help of Chad and Ceausescu".After about 40 minutes all of the steaks and burgers were nearly done when suddenly an enraged Gordon Ramsay kicked open the front door as he loudly yelled "THIS PAAAHHHTY IS BLOODY TERRIBLE YOU ONLY HAVE 50 BALLOONS WHEN THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE 65 AND YOUR HAPPY BIRTHDAY BANNER IS HANGING 1 METRE FROM THE CEILING WHEN IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HANGING .7 METRES FROM THE CEILING AND WHAT THE FOOK IS THIS YOU ONLY HAVE 4 KINDS OF CHIPS AND 3 KINDS OF SODA WHEN A GOOD PAHTY HAS 6 KINDS OF CHIPS AND 7 KINDS OF SODA BLOODY DISGRACEFUL".Than Gordon made his way to the kitchen and saw the steaks and burgers which put him further into a rage ."WHAT THE BLOODY FOOKIN HELL IS THIS THESE STEAKS ARE COOKED MEDIUM SORT OF RARE AND HAVE ONLY 2 TYPES OF SPICES AND TERIYAKI SAUCE WHEN EVERY GOOD STEAK IS COOKED MEDIUM AND SHOULD BE MARINADED FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 HOURS in 7 TYPES OF SAUCES AND SPICES YOU BLOODY IDIOTS AND LOOK AT THESE BURRGAS THERE ALSO COOKED MEDIUM SORT OF RARE INSTEAD OF BLOODY MEDIUM AND LACK ONIONS AND TOMATOES , THIS FOOD IS JUST AS BLOODY DISGRACEFUL AND DISGUSTING AS THIS DISGRACEFUL BLOODY PAHTY GOOD BLOODY BYE".With that Gordon dumped all of the steaks and burgers on the floor and walked quietly out the back door.

Jason was about to cry again but Rakosi quickly came up with another party idea 'Lets drink and play some games because whats a good party without drinking" and all of the party guests loudly cheered including Jason. Rakosi and That one Mcdonalds employee who screws up your order every time brought out the 2 cases of beer and the pack of wine coolers and Jason took monopoly out of the closet . Everyone was drinking telling story's cracking jokes and having a good time and things where beginning look good again but that wouldn't last because after about an hour a very drunk Chris Chan began to flirt with Jason ."Hey babe want to hear about my collection of limited edition burger king star wars collector glasses?"Which a disgusted Jason replied "Like gag me with a spoon I don't like care about your dumb glasses".But Chris Chan would have none of it and began to try to kiss Jason while saying "Please beautiful I want you more than I want a limited edition 1977 c3po collector glass." . Rakosi pulled Chris Chan off of jason and took him out of the room and after about 5 minutes everything seemingly returned back to normal until after another hour a drunk Chad was getting increasingly pissed after Ceausescu refused to sell him the reading railroad ."Cmon man you know I need that ill give you double " but Ceausescu still wouldn't sell specifically to piss Chad off "Nope still not selling" but the increasingly drunk and pissed off Chad still continued to beg "Please man I need this " but the smug Ceausescu still refused and replied "No I am still not selling and calm down man it's just a game"but Chad still continued "If its just a game than why won't you sell me the goddamn reading railroad".Tired of listening to all of the bickering back and forth Micheal Myers chimed in and said "Chad nobody gives a shit about the stupid ass reading railroad now sit down and shut the fuck up".This sent Chad into a drunkin rage causing him to flip over the table and smash the monopoly board on his knee as he whine-yelled "Screw you guys and screw this stupid ass game "before passing out.

Jason was about to whine and cry and Rakosi was out of party ideas until he spotted the presents on the table."Hey Jason you should go open your presents" and Jason perked right up and walked towards his stack of presents "Your like totally right I like totally forgot, thanks matty ". Jason was about open his 3rd present when Rakosi heard a knock at the front door and was greeted by a parachute pants wearing Erich Honecker who said "Yo ,ding dong man,ding dong ,ding dong yo i'm here for the birthday bash home fry ".and before Erich could finish his sentence Rakosi said "Fuck this " and slammed the door shut. Rakosi than walked to the kitchen opened up a jolt cola and began to joke around with Velociraptor and the both of them began to joke about dating. Just than Jason walked in and began to whine to Velociraptor "This is like my house these are like my friends and this is like my party so if you don't like me you shouldn't even be here than loser!".Hurt and insulted Velociraptor ran upstairs and locked himself in the bedroom . Rakosi and other guests seeing Velociraptor so upset confronted Jason "What the hell Jason we where just joking around"Michael Myers joined in "Yeah nice one Jason".Seeing how upset he made Velociraptor jason decided to go upstairs and apologize .(for this part play the melancholic substory theme from yakuza 0) Jason walked to the bedroom and knocked on the door while asking "Velociraptor are you there " and was greeted by a sad " Yes what do you want " from Velociraptor and Jason replyed "Listen I am like very sorry for like taking things out of context ,yelling and calling you like a loser, sometimes i can be very like mean and I should have just let things like play out before I like opened my mouth,you don't have to like forgive me ,I totally understand if you like don't"and with that Jason began to walk away but Velociraptor opened the door hugged Jason and said"I do accept your apology and we will always be friends do want to go get some cake" which Jason replied "Sure and you can have the first piece".With that Jason and Velociraptor went to the kitchen where everyone was hanging out and put the cake on the table. Right before Jason was about to cut Velociraptors piece Velociraptor asked "Since its your birthday you should make a wish before you cut the cake" To which Jason replied "I got to spend time with my boyfriend and all of my friends so my wish already came true" and everyone freeze frame jumped .

The end

Sorry this chapter took so long to come out next up is either Loudness of the lambs , Friday the 13th part 18 or a Gta vice city based fanfiction


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